Presenting in front of an audience is one of those activities that makes most of us feel vulnerable.
And because people feel vulnerable, we as public speaking coaches often find ourselves having to help students grapple with emotions and ingrained beliefs, in addition to working on messages and delivery.
Here are a few beliefs we've encountered that seem to hold people back. If you've had any of these thoughts, maybe you can find more joy, less stress, and greater success by letting them go.
Limiting belief #1: I won't be good because I'm not an extrovert.
Hello, introverts. Don't look at your shoes. Yes, we're talking to you! Extroverts aren't a sure thing as public speakers, just because they're extroverted.
True, it may be less taxing for them to seek the spotlight. But that's not the chief quality that makes for a good speaker. Working for the audience and becoming the servant of your message are keys to effective speaking—something introverts prove again and again that they're good at doing.
Limiting belief #2: Someone else can do a better job.
We find nervous speakers are quick to tell themselves this—then step back and let someone else do the presenting.
One of the proven ways to get better at speaking is to speak. If you can overcome this belief and raise your hand, you'll get more opportunities.
And there will be times when you are one of the best people to do the job—because of your knowledge or passion for a project. To let those moments pass you by is a disservice to others as well as to yourself.
Limiting belief #3: I need lots of PowerPoint slides to pull this off.
We remind every speaker: People do business with people, not slide decks. Colleagues form relationships with people, not PowerPoint.
Many messages can be delivered without any PowerPoint at all. Most can be delivered with far fewer slides than you may currently be using. Creating slides can become busy work we hide behind when we should be on our feet practicing our messages. Delivering with slide-packed decks may be a way we're hiding out when we stand up in front of audiences. Check your motives before you make a big deal over building and using a deck.
Limiting belief #4: Only shameless show-offs use gestures and body language.
It's true, we have seen some shameless show-offs throw themselves into physical delivery with reckless abandon. Guess what? It can be fun to watch.
Adding gestures and body language are good ideas—and can be done in ways that work for you, no matter your temperament.
You should also consider the context of your presentation: the size of the venue, the content, the mood. Sometimes, all it takes is turning your upper body as you make eye contact around a conference room. A few descriptive gestures can go a long way toward making your message more engaging.
So before you dismiss these physical aspects of public speaking, give yourself a chance to try them out. Remember, animated delivery doesn't have to be framed as showing off, because it's another way we work for audiences in service of our message.
Limiting belief #5: I don't have a good voice for public speaking.
Maybe you worry about your accent or the pitch of your voice. Perhaps you've been told you mumble or that you speak too softly.
Two things to keep in mind as you work to make the most of the voice you have (which we can tell you will be more than fine for the speaking that comes your way):
- Your unique accent, pitch, and other vocal qualities are part of what make you different from other speakers. Make the most of them instead of trying to hide them. Yes, you do need to be understood. And if your pitch is ear-piercing, you might want to work at making some modifications. But in general, the voice you have can be one of your strengths because it is unique to you.
- You can practice and improve. Athletes and dancers are always working to enhance their natural abilities. You can, too. One way is to read poetry out loud. Record yourself. Listen and work on what you'd like to do better. Or have a trusted colleague listen to your next presentation and give you specific feedback on your voice and how well it's coming across.
Limiting belief #6: The best speakers just speak from the heart.
Many people say this because they're convinced that notes indicate a lack of public speaking ability. And yet, to speak successfully, they need notes.
Here's our take. Some of the worst speakers we've endured have been the ones who insist on "speaking from the heart" because it's code for "I'm winging it."
You can use notes. You can use a script. Even if you don't use a script when you deliver, writing one and rehearsing from it will make you a better speaker.
So if "speaking from the heart" does not come easily to you, no worries. In fact, count us relieved, because it means you'll work on your message, take your plan to the stage, and be the better for it.
Our best tip: Identify your strengths first.
When we ask students to tell us about their public speaking, most will say what's wrong. We urge them to also get in touch with what they're doing right. Even reluctance to be in front of an audience can be a strength, because that reluctant speaker is far less likely to waste an audience's time with self-serving shenanigans.
When you know what you do well, you can draw confidence from your attributes and build your speaking style from there. Thinking about strengths tends to help our students improve more quickly and take away the dread many tell us they've felt about having to speak in public.
LEARN MORE
How can you change your self-talk and set yourself up for better speaking? Find a few of our ideas here.
Want to add gestures but feel shy about do it? Use these tips to get you started.
Improve your vocal delivery with these easy exercises from our Buckley vocal coach.
